Saturday, May 15, 2010

Brother, can you spare a bandeau..?

Nice day today. Sunny, happy kiddos, fun with friends, time to play the fool with my lovely bride without the small ones at our knees...

But that's bye the bye; you don't care about that.

No, you come here for the drama. The insight. The sturm-und-drang. So I'm here to announce that we really ARE in a Great Recession. Y'know how its said that a recession is when your neighbor loses his job and a depression is when you lose yours?

Well. it's officially a "Great Recession" when the local lingerie coffee kiosk goes under.

"Sadie's Hot Spot", a.k.a "Sadie's Ladies, "Home of the D Cup", the bra-and-panties java hut on my way to work in Oregon City is closed and up for lease.Mind you, it's not like things are dandy elsewhere in Strip Mall Land, down there along McLoughlin Boulevard between Milwaukie and O-City. I'd say that some of the older, seedier strips are anywhere between one third to one half vacant. Several places are looking increasingly scruffy and tattered, too, like the old, starving caribou, you know, on those nature specials where the wolf pack is getting peckish and the deep cold and blowing drifts are slowing the herd? You can tell just driving by that there's gonna be blood on the snow pretty damn soon.

Or panties. Whatever.

I always figured that, people being people, there'd always be a way to sell coffee using breasts. That Sadie had a gimmick that would never lose money. That the Starbucks' and Dutch Bros. might go but the gals in teddies - like the shapely adorable on the right (yes, there's even a "myspace" page full of snapshots of the lovelies pouring jamoke...) would be there frothing milk long after I retired.

But maybe not. Maybe things really ARE that bad. Because when the guys of Southeast Portland decide that they can't afford to pay $4.50 for a cup of joe to look at the woman serving it in a schoolgirl outfit and gawk at her cleavage, times really ARE tough.

No comments:

Post a Comment